Today´s post is not going to be a cheerful one but I have to get it out somehow.
It´s been six days since we had to put our furry friend to sleep, he had a bad renal failure and there was no more hope. He was not just a cat, for me he was my baby. My brave baby who hid his pain so well that we only realised he´s sick just two days before that terrible day. He started to vomit blood, we hurried to see a vet in hope he could help. We came home holding a box with his lifeless limp body and buried him under large trees just close to the house. We wrapped him inside a beautiful cloth and put his favorite toy, some flowers and food pellets with him, these were the things he loved the most. To say goodbye to him while he was still alive on the vet´s table and after 5 minutes to collect his body are the worse memories I have and I cannot stop thinking about it. I hope so much we didn´t let him down. The vet said he would have max 2 weeks left if we tried to clean his blood for few days. Few days in a clinic, confused and lonely and then only two weeks to live - we simply could not to let that happen.
Hallu was with us for almost 3 years, he came from a shelter. It was a truly snowy winter evening when a lady from a shelter took him to us in a large sports bag. I liked him the very first moment. There are so many good memories... I have cried and cried, all of those fresh memories - good ones and bad ones- are hunting me.
Little paws and little whiskers
please come to me and whisper
how was it for you to go
it breaks my heart if I don´t know.
Please come and say there was no pain
when your soul flew away.
I had, my dear, to let you go,
how to beat the pain now I do not know.
Today is falling rain and hail
on your little sandy grave.
Please tell me that you are not cold,
there´s only your body there but no soul.
Your soul took off and now is free,
no pain for you but pain for me.
Oh I wish that I could touch
your fur and paws I love that much!
Good bye my little love!